quiet

It's hard to know what to say right now, how to explain what I've been doing the past few days. It's not even Friday, but I feel like I've been in Texas at least a month. This course is nothing like I thought it would be; I'm not sure what I was expecting when I headed out here to the Mercy Ships base. I figured I'd hang out, meet some new people, maybe learn a bit about the organization I work for.

Instead, I find myself spending at least seven hours a day in a classroom, having my mind blown in every direction. We've spent the last three days talking about spiritual warfare. It's not something I've ever given much thought to, to be perfectly honest, but now I'm being told (and shown flat out from the Bible) that the battle is constant and everywhere and very, very real. And that I am an integral part of it.

We've talked about salvation and creation and armor and arrows and about a thousand other things. In the middle of the slew of information, I took as much of it as I could grasp and neatly chronicled it in about fifteen pages of notes. I want to be able to go back and read it over again and again when I'm doubting my place in this grand scheme, which is why it's good that I haven't put pen to paper this much since maybe the seventh grade.

I feel like I'm on the edge of something huge right now. I haven't studied my own faith like this in I don't know how long, and I feel almost like a kid on Christmas Eve. Like God has something momentous in store for me if I can just silence my own racing mind enough to let Him talk. I need to learn to be quiet, and I need to do it now.

Hush, child. Quiet now.