stars fall

Last year, when I was silent all during the sail, it was because I was flat in my bed, trying vainly to keep the contents of my stomach where they rightfully belonged. This year, I'm silent because I'm having the time of my life.

The sail has been wonderful so far. The seas have been calm, the weather near perfect. I spend long hours on the bow, listening to the waves smash against the hull of the ship, the sun beating down on my head. The jobs I should be doing on the computer have been printed out and clipped into a binder, because I can't bear to work inside.

We've turned the corner now, heading north past Liberia and Sierra Leone, and the air is starting to carry the faintest hint of chill. The wind is stronger, the waves a little higher, and still I am not sick. I wake up each morning so thankful for another day, and all I keep thinking is, This is amazing. I never have to dread sailing again!

Last night was the best part of all of this.

I carried a sleeping bag and a mattress from the hospital up the five flights of stairs to deck eight, where I staked out a corner next to some dear friends. We snuggled into our hoodies and blankets while the ship rocked us gently and overhead the moonless sky was strewn with a million stars. The Milky Way was a pale band arching over the ship, and Sirius shone out, brighter than all the others. Through the binoculars, we saw galaxies and nebulae and stars stars stars. And over and over, one would break rank, streaking towards us in a blaze of light.

I've seen meteor showers before, but this was something new. This was God, wanton in His creation, forming stars by the billion and throwing them across the sky for my pleasure. This was Heaven, bending over me, spinning and whirling with the movement of the waves. This was everything that is Right about God, everything that is More.

Earlier in the evening, I had been at church where we lit the third Advent candle. Week by week, we are getting closer to the Light. Day by day, His coming is closer, and then I went outside and He was all around me, dancing among the falling stars and whispering from the darkness.

This is for you. I did this all for you; I knew you would love this. My deepest desire is for you to know my Joy, and so I did this for you.

I'm brought to my knees when I think that He left all that for me. That He gave up walking among the stars and came to be laid in a feeding trough. The Consolation of Israel, crying out for his mama in the night. The Light of the World, shutting his little eyes against the morning sun. Immanuel. God with us, nestled in a young woman's arms.

Early this morning I woke to see the sky painted with the colours of sunrise, the stars hidden behind the light of a new day. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, one last star fell, streaking past the fingernail moon hanging low over the waters. One last reminder, one last proof.

Stars fall and He is so near.